I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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