I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
