Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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