im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
