I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
