I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
