Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is Oprah even human
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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