So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
