If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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