I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
