I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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