Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
