Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
