You work out of a Hotel?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
