it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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