On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
