Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
