i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
