her vagine was all disorganized.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
