You can't motorboat a personality
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
