he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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