sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
