Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
