the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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