somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
