how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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