Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
