I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
did i walk over a car last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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