How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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