My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
