Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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