bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
