she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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