I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
