I hate all girls vehemently.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
