Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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