i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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