How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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