My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
