ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
