sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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