So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
