So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
