I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
