no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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