I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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