never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
