I hate your face
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
