What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
