This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
