I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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