I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
