You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
did i just pee glitter
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