Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
