last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
