I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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