I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
