i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
