Quick, to the slutcave!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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