Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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